So, the other day I smoked for the 1st and only time so far. My globe is rocked, and I am attempting to make sense of it and choose irrespective of whether I will use it once more and beneath what situations.
I will attempt to maintain this all as TLDR as I can — I am a white collar qualified who likes to drink but has never ever smoked ahead of. I have serious anxiousness and tension, essentially all the time. I sought out weed extract (indica) as an option to searching into anti-anxiousness meds, which I am not interested in for factors. It blew my thoughts — I had no clue just how undesirable points had gotten in my head. Even days right after the practical experience, I am noticing smells I did not ahead of, enjoying memories from my childhood alternatively of them producing me sad (I pine for the previous a lot), capable to sit on my couch and just study or do nothing at all once more. My tinnitus either wasn’t there or I did not notice it.
I can really feel my tension returning gradually, and I am hesitant to use once more even even though I type of want to. I am worried that repeated weed use is going to alter my perception permanently, in a unfavorable way. My perception IS currently altered permanently, but I nonetheless really feel the similar, just conscious of a calmer, happier viewpoint that I am capable to have.
Anyway, I have a handful of concerns:
I applied a Pax. From what other individuals have told me, I went way also quick, and so the starting was jarring. I had 3 pulls, and held every one particular relatively extended. The third, I held for properly more than 10 seconds and essentially no vape came back out. Is that truly also quick? Ought to I have gone slower? When it hit me I felt like I could not perceive time any longer or have any sustained believed. I hid on the bed till I felt like I could have additional than two seconds of coherent believed. And, holy crap, the munchies afterward. That was truly one particular of the worse components, for the reason that I ate so a lot I was sick to my stomach the subsequent day.
If I hit it once more in a handful of days, and go lighter, am I going to get started finding hazy in the course of the days that adhere to? The day right after I smoked, I am quite confident I was nonetheless beneath the influence, even into the afternoon. I was calmer than I commonly am, and whilst my thoughts have been practically standard, I surely was a bit additional scatterbrained than I commonly am. I do not want that to come to be my day to day state of thoughts, so I am feeling quite nervous about attempting it once more. And, even now, I am second-guessing my capacity to organize my thoughts and do my perform, and asking yourself if it is for the reason that I got higher.
Have other individuals had the practical experience exactly where there is a lasting feeling of calm by means of the days that adhere to finding higher? Will it go away? I actually like becoming capable to get pleasure from the vibes of a sunny late summer season day with out pining for my childhood, and just becoming capable to appreciate my surroundings and get pleasure from them. And I particularly get pleasure from that I do not have to be nonetheless beneath the influence to do it.
Is there an additional, improved sub that I could post a set of concerns like this in?
I do not want to fry my brain. I worth my profession and my perform is very technical — I have to have my thoughts to function. And I do not want to create a dependence on this substance to function. The strategy I am attempting to take now is to use the practical experience to remind myself that it is probable to be content and at ease, which I really feel I had absolutely forgotten how to do. I am uncertain if I will have to have to “refresh” it and irrespective of whether or not that is a excellent notion.